bloody peasant water

So i was on my yacyt, eating some imported caviar, and i said "Jeeves, get me some sparkling crystal water", and he brings me tap water, and I go "Jeeves, this isnt sparkling clear, this is tap water, i can tell the diffrence, i don't want bloody peasant water!"
So you know, we spent Christmas in Aspen, the children absolutley adored it. Why I actually just bought out the US Oil Co. , perhaps you should wine and dine with us sometime....."